Forgiveness

It was been brought to my attention that I can be a bad person (not their words.) It's not me personally but my thoughts and actions. I mentioned to my husband tonight that "sometimes I hate myself." It is true but he pointed out that, that's not fair to me and I am a wonderful person, I just tend to not think before I speak therefore not realizing the consequences. I think that is the thing I hate about me. I say/do stuff before realizing what might happen. It makes me question my loyalty as a friend and how many people I have hurt/lost as a friend because of something I said and didn't realize it.

It is definitely something I'll be working on. It's at the top of my list now and pray that those that I have  hurt can forgive me. Im very thankful for God's grace each day. I am also thankful that at least some have truly forgiven me. They know I didn't mean any harm and I'm blessed they can forgive me.

On the another note, it is hard finding it out through another person ( mutual friend) because that means they would rather tell another person how I have hurt them instead of coming to me about it. It hurts, especially when you were once, verty recently, best friends and did a lot together. It's ok. I forgive them for not truly forgiving me and coming to me about "our" problems.

Some friends are only meant to be in your life for a short time. God has his reasons, haven't figured this one out yet, but I will in time.

It's been an emotional night and now in going to really watch what I say and hope to be that "good" friend I thought I was.

It's been way too long!

It's been a year and a half since I last blogged on any of my blogs. I have been pondering lately on starting back up blogging for one of my NY's goals. So here I am expressing my many thoughts about life and what my purpose is. God always has a plan and I just have to find that purpose that he created me for!

So a lot has happened since I last blogged. It was August of 2012 and my son was 3 months old. I now sit here 9 months pregnant with son #2 and just cant believe how big my first son is already. Nearly 20 months, my how that time has flown by. My daughter is almost 5 1/2 and that blows my mind! This year I plan to be even better than last year. I set goals last year that I am still working on and so far this year hasnt gotten off to a great start all around. On NY day my husband, daughter and I got the stomach bug and it took us almost a week to really start feeling better then the weekend that we started feeling better we got hit with a HUGE snow storm and we were snowed in for 3 days.

So here are my goal for this year in no particular order

1. Make time every morning for God/Devotionals
2. Staying off facebook during my children's waking hours (this will be hard but I need to get unplugged)
3. Become more organized and declutter house
4. Make sure to be more diligent on our first year of homeschooling
5. Make sure daily chores get done and print a list
6. Have 1 couple over at least twice a month for food and fellowship
7. Send birthday/appreciation cards out a few times a month to someone that is on your mind
8. Spend less time yelling and soak in the time I have with my children while they are little (ok this is an every year type goal, but it's a good one)
9. Get back to healthy eating, weight loss and exercising after baby is born
10. Pray more ask for grace when needed for tough times
11. Really work had at getting my Shaklee business growing.
12. Meal plan and use my crock pot more and actually cook the meals that are planned!

I have a few challenges that I want to put in place and hope that people will do them with me.

1 challenge is an organization challenge another is an unplugging challenge and another one is a Shaklee challenge. I will explain in more details at a later point when I get all figured out. I hope one or all of those would be something you'd be interested in.

Happy New Year!